Interview with L

Interview with L (who has not yet been mentioned):
by Russ

L signed a release form for this interview.  She is a middle aged midwife in training currently living in Maine who migrated from Massachusetts.

Me:What’s your idea of masculinity and why?

L: My idea has changed in the last few years.  I used to believe you were masculine because you were born with male genitals, and I no longer believe that.  I don’t think body parts make you masculine.  That’s changed because I’ve met more trans people.  We all have masculine or feminine traits. Take charge attitude, emotional and physical strength.

Me: What was it that drew you to settle in Maine?

L: My best friend is here.  The prospect of a new life, and that there might actually be men interested in me up here as opposed to on the vineyard where they all drink and have problems.  But also here they all drink and have problems.  I’m being silly, what drew me here?  The newness, I’ve always wanted to move up here, and I had the opportunity.  I raised my beasties (children).  That’s it.

Me: What different masculinities have you encountered in Maine?

L: I’ve met an extreme patriarchal christian.  He’s absolute ruler of his house and everything else.  I’ve met one trans, a subordinate masculinity.  I’ve actually met some really cool dads who are real partners.  So i would think that they were almost neutral.  They weren’t dominant men, they were very equal partners in relationships, but that might be because of the business Im in and the awareness of the people who seek home birth.

Me:  Do you see yourself as masculine or feminine?  Why?

L: I see myself as both! When I want to be feminine I can be very feminine. And when I want to be masculine I can be masculine.

Me:What were some of the factors in your life that molded your idea of masculinity and femininity?

L: Boarding school for ten years, all girls.  Being told what was feminine and how to be feminine.  it was definitely what moulded my feminine idea.  For masculinity, the media molded it.  I didn’t have horribly dominating men in my life, my mom chose to be single, and my dad is very dual, he’s wonderful.

     

Me: At what age do you first remember having a sense or idea of masculinity or femininity?

L: I remember knowing I was a boy when I was younger, I was like 4, and I didn’t understand why I couldn't just run around with undies on anymore.  And then when I was 12 I went to a hairdresser and he was gay and he insisted on talking to my mom about how wonderful my hair was, that people die for hair like his.  And I’m thinking, I’m getting little tits, i’m not a boy.  And I keep getting thought of as a boy.  And with a name like (), I’m often mistaken for a boy.

Me: Are men fundamentally different from women?  How and why?

L: They are, because I always thought if you gave a child - i raised three boys - i thought if you gave them dolls or treated them neutrally they wouldn’t have dominant male or female traits.  I was wrong.  They would hold barbies legs and sticks and use them as guns.  They were boys and there was nothing I could do about it. They punched each other.  Their dads not hyper macho.

me: do you think they learned that from somewhere or was it natural?

N: I think on a cellular level men are different than women, but i also really strongly believe that it’s  - not sexuality - but the traits can be mediated by you as you get older.

Me: Is the masculinity you see in Maine different from the rest of the United States?

L: No.  I haven’t been up here long though.

Me: What is universal to maleness, masculinity, and being a man?

L: Competition, competitiveness.  I really think that men are competitive.

Me: How are men socially measured in Maine?

L: Job.  That’s universal.  Income.

Me:  Are men naturally more violent and sex-focused than women?

L: I think yes, you can tell that even in a pre school, when the boys and the girls are together the boys are different.  

Me: What stereotypes and prejudices have you come across in Maine?  Or, are they any different than the rest of the U.S.?

N:I’m dealing with women, but I know that size - fat - is huge here?

Me: is that pun intended?

N: no.. We deal with quite a few large women, and my clients and teachers have been wonderful - working with them, they're such an underserved population.  Health is a huge denomenator up here in Maine.  People are prejudice against fat people up here.

Me: you realize a large portion of mainers are fat:

N: that’s what I’m saying, and there’s prejudice against them.  There were never fat people when I was growing up.

Me: what does feminism mean to you

N: its not as dirty a word as it used to be.  I don’t think it’s anywhere near as radical as it used to be.  And yet, a lot of people demean - use it derogatorily, from a woman speaking out for her rights.  Maybe it still is a bit radical.  What does it mean to me…  I think I’ve got a growing awareness that I’ve never had because of the business I’ve chosen, and I’m becoming more political about it.  And rights.  I think feminism is advancing the natural rights of women.  How’s that? I don’t know.